Letter to the parents. Artist's perspective
Where to go, with whom to be friends with, what to do with kids' free time, what to eat, what to wear, - adults know everything better or, better say, they think they know better.
I often think about the cause-effect relations and how the upbringing, that parents laid in at the very early stages of a personality becoming, influence the onward independent life of a child.


Just confess that when being a child many of us were spoken to or even just chanced to hear, when our friends were talked to, these gnostic phrases from adults that told us about good and evil. They were very powerful narrations, very influential, those that cover you like huge waves without leaving you a chance to grasp a breath of a fresh air.

Certainly, most of us have been given a choice to follow this advice or not. A kind of mythic choice, almost vague, as such that like a monster jumps at you from the corner when you the least expect it.

These phrases like: "Work your will", "Do what you want", "You will regret", "You will be crying", "Don't come to me for advice anymore", - they are real killers of initiative and creativity of a future adult's mind.

I always wondered and still wonder what goals these adult people perceive when talking to their children like that?

Manipulation – it's clear.

Will suppression – what for?

Self-esteem diminution, there again for further successful manipulation – it's cruel!

Moreover these cruel phrases are dropped by caring parents, while landing like slaps in the faces of their own beloved children. When smacked again, these slaps turn into huge bruises that can't be hidden unless you wear a hijab.
So instead of nurturing a strong descendant that will be able to solve problems and move heaven and earth at their way, a sprout grows up that doesn't have the slightest idea how to make a step without a parent-leader approval. Because if they do this without this approval, a leader will thump loudly with a club and ignominiously boot them out from the tribe of toady people.

For good!

And how to live then without a tribe?! - Scary prognosis to every human and though collective being.

In such moments I've always wanted to appeal to parents and say that if happened so that their personal experience was based at the principle of ambitions suppression, then they always have every right to stop this destructive chain and do not pass such experience to the next generations. Ultimately, no one knows what's good and what's bad. Everyone has their own view of life, and every view is right.

Your child is not a part of you but a person, that stands alone and is worthwhile with her own values. Therefore, to decide for another independent creature what is perspective and what is not; what to do in life and what is better to avoid; which university to choose; what profession to work at; what schedule to follow means to take on oneself a huge burden of responsibility for not only one's success but also for the success of the other person.

Are you really ready for that?
Who? Who said that being an artist, pianist, sculptor, dancer or actor is unserious?

While being a financier, programmer, analyst, politician means prestige and, what is more important, money.

I more often wonder where these prejudices come from? How does the idea of lack of prospects and money in bohemian professions get into our minds?

Why has the prejudice stereotype become an equivalent of a steady or, better say, stable, often office work from dusk to dawn? And if there is joy and no schedule, and no "stability" – this is unserious and moneyless and, actually, God forbid that.

It is indiscreetly to deny that in most cases this is exactly what happens in the reality. The majority of examples show that bohemian professions really do not bring any fame, money or prospects. But why? In my opinion, this happens because we all have our origin from childhood, and that means that all our success settings are being formed there.

We are all now sophisticated in the questions of potential development, psychological blocks removal, karma refinement, chakra unblocking. However, in order not to refine much and not to unblock all these grips in adult stage, it is much easier not to be pressed in the childhood, isn't it?

The creativity law is a kind of specific. Firstly, all people without exception are the creators by nature but someone develops this skill and someone not – we all possess a freedom of choice. Secondly, people who feel the call of their creative element stronger than the other, in most cases stay loyal to this call for the rest of their lives. And while someone will create freely and openly, the other, and that's the majority, will be embarrassed with their own creative blessings.

And then they will feel anxious and nervous because of that but they won't change anything about that because creativity is actually nothing serious and brings only disappointment: no fame, no money, no prospects. Only tears.
And here begins the biggest paradox!
Seldom parents who do not invest in the development of creative skills of their children. Drawing lessons, music, clay modeling, dancing, acting – many children have first-hand knowledge of that. However, all these studies are thought to be as something secondary, unserious, unstable, in one word – completely improper for profession definition even if it is not only a nice occupation for a child but a real calling.

Every child knows and feels intuitively what she should do. She tries it and understands everything from a very first moment. So parents' task, in my opinion, is to give a child an opportunity to try, to look for, to find, to disappoint and again to try.

The success of any profession lies not so much in professionalism rather than in self-confidence as well in confidence in one's own strength and motivation.

Sow this confidence in success in the heart of your child, and this will be the most valuable gift and capital in their life! After they will get it alone or, to be more exact, the circumstances will turn them up and down and push there where they should be – at their place in life.

If your child is great at drawing and does this with so much pleasure, help her to define a style, ask what material she needs, show her the examples of how the art changed the world during the whole mankind creation, encourage her on deeds.

If your child is genius at drawing with a hand, do not take her to graphical design or architecture because you want so. Not only are you risking to get a shadow artist, in the end, but also a shadow graphical designer, a shadow architect. Or a shadow of some other architect or artist. A person, who will sacrificially worship the talents of other people more than her own.


If you want a happy future for your children, do not substitute the notions! Grow the leaders of their own life, not the rebels who will sooner or later prove and prove first of all to you their rightness but upon with that they will have some temporary and psychological losses. Don't grow the executors of your own unfulfilled wishes, grow people who are capable of taking responsibility for their not yours decisions.

Remember that any profession is good if it brings joy! Try to free your head from the stereotypes and don't clog with them the conciseness of your descendants, it will become joyful and pleasant for everyone, I think so.

And how do you think?


// Yours Olga B.


@ all rights reserved
comments powered by HyperComments